


A day too late (and inside, we aren't safe anymore)

by regionalsky



Series: dalmatians don't catch on fire [3]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Asphyxiation, Coffee, Dark, Flashback, Friendship, Hanging, I have no memory of writing this, I listened to weird music while writing this, I promise, I'm trying to tell two stories at once, It's Cool Though, Just mean, Kind of Scary, M/M, Not really an AU, Ominous, One Shot, Second Person, Short, Weird, Weird Plot Shit, at all, honestly just weird shit from my head, i guess, icee, idk it's the point of view I used for lose your mind, ish, it's super short just try it, joshler - Freeform, joshler ish, made me think, no kink or anything, not even really sexual, not sorry, read it, sorry - Freeform, talks about suicide, this is based off of something I found scribbled in the back of my math notebook, weird format I'm probably going to start using, whatever, you'll like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 23:03:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11300670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regionalsky/pseuds/regionalsky
Summary: Josh wants a slushie.He got a coffee the day before.Where the fuck is Tyler?





	A day too late (and inside, we aren't safe anymore)

**Author's Note:**

> this is weird.  
> please comment anything.

I wanted an icee. A brainfreeze, coat your tongue and lips blue mess of sugar and coloring. I wanted one. I walked to the 7/11.

It was 10AM on a Saturday, and there was nothing else for me to do. 

The cashier played on her phone and pretended not to stare at me. I knew what I looked like. I knew what you had done to me. 

_ Shiny sky nothing exists outside of the coffee, burning my tongue and I know it’s not just caffeine that’s making my stomach jump. Stale muffin crumbles in my hand and I’m on a barstool that doesn’t spin, it won’t move. Your jacket is too tight on my shoulders. _

 

My back felt like it was cracking open when I reached down to pick out a lid. I tried not to groan, but it made it through my tightly gritted teeth. My knuckles were white on the plastic counted as I stood back up, avoiding the eyes of the girl. The door chimed as someone else came in, probably for cigarettes. I shivered.

 

_ I know you’re going to come back, it’s going to have to happen. You’re not just going to leave me. Friday, and we’re done with school, done for the week and I went to the coffee shop for safety. Your car, it’s somewhere, and although I’ve been watching outside of the window for hours you aren’t there. Maybe you won’t be. My phone buzzes. _

 

No, no, it can’t be  _ that  _ obvious, because that’s what you said, that’s what you would have said. My head hurt. It ached. I needed water. I needed this goddamn slushie. 

 

_ And suddenly it’s 8PM and they’re closing the shop, they’re making me leave and I tell them no. I can’t go, you’re going to be there soon. Tough luck. The door is slammed in my face and I drop the coffee, the third one that’s turned ice cold. It was shitty anyways.  _

 

I filled it up with the stupid drink, I felt like I was craving it. You hated slushies. That’s why we never went. I knew you did, because we talked. We always talked. You opened your mind to me in ways I didn’t think was possible. The cashier glared at me. I kept thinking about you. 

 

_ Your house your house because you’re there? The wind slapped me in the face and I walked, I walked because even though you’re smaller you’ve gotta license. They don’t trust me with big things. They don’t trust me, even though you’re the one who should not be trusted with a blunt knife- because, you know, those are more dangerous than the sharp ones. _

 

She laughed when I fumbled for change. “Rough night last night?”

That was mean. Too mean.

“Mind your own fucking business, yeah?” Slipped out of my mouth. 

Closed her mouth, opened it again. “Your eyes are red, that’s all I’m saying.”

I could feel the tears coming. Too early in the morning. I wanted to leave, but I needed it. I had only had a dollar and 7 cents to give her. I needed 17 more cents. I hated the fucking tax.  

“I wasn’t drinking.”

“Better not’ve been, you’re 16?”

“Can I just have it? I only have a dollar seven.”

She considered that for a moment, pulling out a stick of gum. I watched her, trying to raise my eyebrows to keep my eyes open. It would have been impossible to smile.

“Tell me what happened last night, and we’ll see.”

 

_ Your window was open, like normal. You thought I would come over. I know my breath _

_ smells like coffee, but whatever. It’s fine. I need to find you. _

_ Your jacket still hugs me, and I try not to rip it as I jump for the lowest branch of the pine tree in front of your house. It strains but doesn’t break, like you, because you won’t break? No, even though you refused to show up or text back you’re home and you’re fine. My phone is still buzzing but I know it’s not you. I checked too many times.  _

_ The air inside your room is too cold. The closet door is open. _

 

“I dunno.” I shook my head. “It’s- it’s not a story you tell. It-”

“What, you get fucked too hard?” She laughed. What a bitch. “Come on, kid, I’ve heard some shit, how bad could this be? Don’t tell me you weren’t at least tipsy-”

“I wasn’t drinking.”

“Sure.”

I stared at her, trying to decide. Was it worth it? I had walked all the way down, and there was no way I was getting it without telling her. Should I made something up? No, she wanted to know. Tell her.

“There was a tv cable. A big, thick one. And he didn’t meet up with me for coffee.”

Her eyes widened. “Holy shit, you’re into that?”

I shook my head. No, no I couldn’t do it. Too fucking soon. “Look can I please, please just have it.”

“Are you kidding me? Finish the story.”

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.

 

_ And your chest, it isn’t moving, it’s frozen. My fingers, my face, my everything, because you, you are done. _

_ Your face is blue, too blue, bloated. Head at a weird angle. No one is home. The tv buzzed, static, in the room over. Static filled my mind. I dropped my phone.  _

_ The chair, the stool, I had sat on that stool before. I fucking sat on it and I didn’t know, I should have taken it, I shouldn’t have left you, I shouldn’t have I shouldn’t have I should have fucking stayed,  _

_ but no you, _

_ you are still up there and I can not look, I throw up and I get rid of my head, not tonight but tomorrow, I have to get rid of it- _

_ Tyler you are gone, gone gone gone gone and holy fuck what am I supposed to do _

_ They find you later that night. I’m home. I pretend not to know. They tell me and I cry like I should. My eyes are red. They never close after that. _

 

I made up a story. She laughed. I don’t even know what she said, or even what I said. She liked it, gave me the fucking thing. I didn’t even want it anymore; I dropped it in the dying grass growing in the cracked concrete. I walked home.

I didn’t need anything anymore.

 

_ I walk into my garage  _ and once again, no one was home so I licked my lips and hoped they were blue  _ because they should be the same color as yours, I close the garage door and it shuts with a final shuddering of gears and chains  _ I grabbed the keys off the hook and put your jacket on, too tight it was too tight and it was smeared with pine sap and there was no way of getting it off  _ it’s a nice patagonia fleece and it still smells like you and I almost feel bad taking it from them and I shut off the lights and jangle the keys and start singing because you liked that one song  _ I couldn’t sing I had no idea how but you were better, you were good and you never used that, I opened the door shut it and the leather stuck to my sweaty neck and tears were not falling  _ they can’t fall right now I can’t get myself to care because if you’re not here then I can put the keys in and start the engine I’ll do it I’ll do it I put the keys in  _ and the lightness started and floating and almost like I couldn’t breathe because I couldn’t I was breathing in poison, but it was better than not breathing at all at least I wasn’t breaking my fucking neck  _ and it is hot it’s too hot but I won’t take the jacket off I won’t I won’t I won’t I won’t I won’t and I’m going to see you soon  _ and although that wasn’t real it was happening because you were never real but you always were because you weren’t real for not even a full day and I needed to see you  _ because things are getting lighter and- _

 

_ “Jo _ sh?” 

Bu _t you are_ gone, you were g _one_ _and I have blue lip_ s too. 


End file.
